11 Reasons India Should Be on Your Bucket List
By: Tope Fajingbesi
07:30 IST, Friday November 2, 2023, | On Board KLM Flight 880 BLR – AMS
I should probably be sleeping like every other normal person on this flight right now, not just because my total travel time from Bangalore Airport to Dulles International is 24 hours and 15 minutes, but because within 24 hours of landing in Dulles, I am scheduled to deliver a keynote address at the UMES Small Farms Conference. But my busy mind won’t allow my eyes close until I pour out all the emotions I have been bottling up since I arrived in Hyderabad, India last weekend.
After losing my dad in 2014, I decided that money would no longer be a major consideration whenever I want to decide whether to give any employer my time. My main criteria became (and remains) that I like and find the organization’s products useful and impactful. So, you can imagine how excited I was when Ashoka slid into my LinkedIn inbox in November last year during an extremely difficult period when my mom who was in what we now know were her final days on earth. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, theirs was a “product” I could use, so I eagerly went through the 13 rounds of interviews and joined as CFO on April 3rd. One of the major advantages of working for an organization whose primary mission is to find, support and strengthen changemakers globally is that you will never go a day without feeling inspired.
After a few weeks on the job, I knew it was only a matter of time before I hopped on a plane to visit our extended accounting family based in Hyderabad India. There were major challenges the internet could not solve. I love to travel, and I keep an active list of countries I want to visit, and India had never shown up on that list. No, it was not the distance that kept India off my list, if I am to be honest, it was the horror stories I had heard about how 2 groups I identify with, Nigerians and Muslims are viewed and treated. My fears and anxieties became worse when my trip had to happen at a time when the massacre of innocent people is being celebrated and cheered in a world that is shockingly getting more and more apathetic to, and supportive of the sort of displacement and oppression that should break even the coldest hearts. But as we say in Lagos, we move. So, I hopped on the plane and arrived in India last weekend.
As my flight from Jeddah made its final approach into Hyderabad, I clarified my intentions and made peace with my 2 missions. Apart from meeting with our extended accounting team, I wanted to score an invitation to an Indian wedding. Yep! If you grew up like I did watching Indian movies before Bollywood was even a thing, you might understand my fascination with Indian weddings. My colleagues had told me that my trip was not happening during wedding season (who knew there was a wedding season?) So, I knew that an invitation to a future wedding was the most I could achieve on this short trip. My plans to just keep my stay limited to Hyderabad quickly changed when I told my colleague and friend, Yashveer, that I was coming to India. Tope, you must come to Bangalore to meet our team and some of our fellows. I am so thankful I listened to him.
As if the strange lady knew how anxious I was as I took short steps out of the airport with my luggage, she walked up to me, and said, “Welcome to my country.” A few minutes later, I saw my colleague, Sudha, her husband, and their beautiful aspiring space scientist 10-year-old daughter waiting with the most beautiful hand-made sign that said, “Welcome to India, Tope Fajingbesi.”
India had begun to disarm me right there at the airport. But I was not prepared for how much more there was to come in just 4 days. From the silly things to the deep lessons, here are 12 of the most heartwarming gifts India gave me.
1. A place like home – You can’t convince me that India is not Lagos on another continent. And it’s not just because the buildings, streets and roads look so eerily alike, and that many Indian streets were filled with Okadas and Keke Marwas (motor bikes and tricycles) who were dragging the road humans, cars, and buses where 49 are sitting and 99 are standing. Nigerian drivers are some of the roughest drivers ever, but not when the boss is in the car. No, not Indian drivers, I truly believe that every Indian cab driver believes every car ride is an opportunity to train for the Dubai Grand Prix! The worst part of these rough rides that make Lagos drivers look like angels is that the only car I rode in, which had a functioning seatbelt was my colleague, Shruti’s car whose driving didn’t scare me. But guess what she did that left me breathless, she made me cross the street! I may or may not have been breathless during the ordeal, which could not have lasted for more than 15 seconds.
2. People like us. Indians are Nigerians with lighter skin tones. The good – Nigerians are hospitable and warm people, and it is not uncommon to be friendly and very familiar with your colleagues. The bad – Indian drivers are also native horn speakers. Next time you are on the streets of Lagos, and you encounter that annoying driver who won’t release his grip on his car horn, don’t be angry, his spirit was born on the streets of Bangalore!
3. The gift of food. Good food. Indians, whether in Bangalore or Hyderabad, don’t ever want to hear you are “not hungry.” They just ignore the “not” part of the sentence and keep piling your plate with more food. What do you mean, you are not hungry. Just when you finally manage to ward off the person stuffing the delicious main meal into your full belly, someone brings sweets and desserts. My spirit is calling for a 7-day fast, the challenge is my flesh is too weak.
4. Indian dogs and their owners get it! Indian dogs won’t bother you, and their owners would not take it personally if you don’t wish to engage with their dogs. Dear Americans, please read this point as many times as you need to.
5. A reminder not to let the modern-day colonizers steal the essence of who we are, and a resolve to retrieve the good in us, which yesterday’s colonizers told us was substandard. The British stole many things from India as they and their cousins did in Africa, but there were 4 things the Indians did not let them cart away - their identity through their local languages, which I noticed were alive and well in schools and public spaces; their beautiful cultural attires, which were normal to wear to work; the strength in their diversity, which I noticed every time I asked colleagues to tell me where they were from (I am saying this one “louder” for the Nigerians who only hire and associate with people from their tribe or religion); Another thing the bandits didn’t take away was their sense of hospitality and kindness! I thought Africans were the warmest and friendliest people until I spent these past 4 days in India. Dear Indians and Africans in the diaspora, please read this point as many times as you need to.
6. Beautiful gifts: I arrived in India with a suitcase that weighed ~20kg and only one piece of carry-on item, which was my laptop bag. I left India with a suitcase that weighed 32kg, and 2 pieces of heavy carry-on items. No, I did not go shopping. The items I acquired were gifts. I got everything from beautiful clothing items, bags, sweets, artifacts, souvenirs, lovely books including a custom-made book about India, which Ravikanth’s son, a 7th grader made for me. Even though I did not show up in India empty handed, the chocolates I took for my hosts felt so little compared to all that they gave me with so much love and joy. I now understand what Yashveer and Sudha meant when they told me that Indians view their visitors as “gods.”
7. India validated my belief: I knew my visit was not going to be one of those typical the “boss” is coming visit where I would sit on some high table commanding and lording over my imaginary subjects while on a scolding and blaming spree. Instead, I wanted to tap into my belief that good respectful relationships, validation, affirmation, vulnerability, storytelling and sharing experiences can help improve complex processes and make sense of jargon-like numbers. So, I enlisted the help of a member of my team in India, Venkata. I told him to help find an inspiring Ashoka Fellow who could host our extended finance team for a field visit. I wanted them to see an example of the mission they support. On Tuesday, 16 members of the Ashoka Global Finance and Oremus Corp teams were hosted by Dr. Evita Fernandez and her incredible team at Fernández Foundation. After listening to a powerful presentation that had me fighting back tears, we toured one of their hospitals where we noted that everything from word choices to space design, birthing positions, financial policy, avoidance of predatory pharmaceutical alliances, training programs and so much more, the foundation was indeed humanizing the childbirth process, the results were clear, and they had the numbers to prove it. The reaction from Team Oremus was amazing! None of them knew that Ashoka had any fellows in Hyderabad, and none had met any of my predecessors in person. They were inspired, they were determined. They could see the linkage between their work with the numbers and the inspiring mission of Dr. Evita and her team. From their feedback, which they gave so freely, I know that they now understand the Ashoka slogan, everyone is a changemaker better. I left Hyderabad confident of better days ahead, and a stronger believer in the power of human connection.
8. A space for She-EO. One of the activities that Shruti, Venkata and Yashveer put together was a lunch session with Ashoka staff and a few of our fellows on Wednesday afternoon. After listening in awe to these incredible humans talk about their changemaking work, I soon realized the space was perfect for a She-EO style conversation. I was happy to see faces light up as we talked about the things that drain, and the ones that fuel us outside of work. It was a privilege to turn an office into a safe space to have important conversations.
9. Humility and perspective. The moment you start believing your work is the most important in any space you occupy, is the time you need to step outside the bubble your ego created to meet more people. SunderRajan, Founder, INREM Foundation, taught me a lesson in humility when he said he never takes himself seriously or put himself on a pedestal thinking he is somehow saving the world. If this man who is doing life saving work does not see himself as more than a mere spec in the universe of changemakers, then who am I to feel like I am doing anything grand? As we say in Nigeria, Abeg, na who I be? Wetin I dey do, wey I dey carry shoulder?
10. You are part of the solution you are looking for. I didn’t get a chance to ask him why he started the foundation, but when Ramkrishna NK, Founder, Rang de, an innovative peer to peer network that bridges critical funding gap farmers in India face by redefining the use of charitable dollars, a couple of light bulbs came on in the part of my head that manages a farm in the U.S. The more he talked about his work, the more I wish there were many more humans like him especially in America. I had no idea the capital constraints farmers face until I became an Ag. Entrepreneur (Dodo Farms).
11. The future started yesterday. We are already late. Venkata, Shruti, Yashveer and I visited Vishwanath S., Founder Biome Trust early on Wednesday morning, and Ashoka Young Changemaker, Akarsh Shroff, Founder, Yuva Spark, who I cannot wait to introduce to my United for Kids Foundation team, joined us for lunch. From tackling the crisis of water shortage through 360-degree interventions that touch every critical part of the eco-system, to removing major barriers faced by children from socially disadvantaged backgrounds, these 2 inspiring changemakers are stopping tomorrow’s wars before they begin.
12. Ask, and you shall receive. Remember I told you that my second mission was to score a wedding invitation? Well, yours truly has been invited to a 3-day wedding celebration in Goa India! Well, it turns out that my Indian cousin, Suresh’s nephew is getting married (didn’t I tell you Indians are Nigerians in lighter skin tones?)
Dear Family, India was beautiful thanks to my colleagues at Ashoka including Jayanti and Ganesh; Team Oremus family including Vijayaha who served me nice team with a smile that was soul deep; and to our fellows and changemakers and their community, you are the reason I am here. Thank you all for reminding me that the greatest gift of all is to see humanity in others, and that the most important religion is love.
Goodbye India, I look forward to seeing you again very soon at cousin’s nephew’s wedding, in sha Allah!
PS: The new Bangalore Airport is exactly the way visitors should remember a country when they are leaving it. So, beautiful, stressless and calming!
PPS: To learn more about Ashoka including our community of changemakers and how you can support our work, visit Ashoka.org.
